Not what i planned . . . . .

So a lot of things have gone wrong since i finished my business course, and there is nothing i or anyone can do about them, however a lot of good things are happening also, and hopefully things will get better, its hard to be optimistic right now but im deciding to anyway.

Jont-Designs - Almost ready !!!!

Click the link below to visit the site :

http://jont-designs.com/

Questions

Do we as parents make things up to compensate for the fact that our kids cant? do we say "The kids want to go to the park", when in fact our special kids just want to be left alone? do we think and then express sorrow, pain, unhappiness on behalf of our kids who cant? 

Do we strive to know the psychology of everything that's causing our kids problems, and yet fail to realize that our kids would be happier just having a mother and father who love them and treat them with love and respect and keep them safe and warm, do they know that no matter what we learn we still wont understand them any better due to that fact that no one can teach us how they think because no one actually knows?

How can you/anyone be an expert on autism when you don't even know the cause? are we striving for the impossible?

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Busy . . . . Busy . . . . . . . heatstroke.......

Sorry i haven't been posting but I've had so much on that i haven't had the time, however i have had the time to notice there is no good movies out or available its annoying, i have been reduced to watching re-runs or movies from the nineties which aren't all bad i have to say, gross point blank with John Cusack is one i still enjoy, and the terminator is a classic action movie, while the concept of Arnold Schwarzenegger's naked arse isn't something that appeals to me the "idea" of the movie is, time travel and all that stuff is definatly fascinating!!!!!

Talk / Type soon enjoy the good weather !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Its give and take.."you give, they take.."

At least it feels like that sometimes, autistic kids appear selfish, or at least mine do..i want food...i want juice....sometimes i feel like saying i want a hug and a kiss...i want to be acknowledged as your dad, by you...and your not getting juice until you do....it would be great to say it and see a reaction....but i wouldn't get one if i tried, they would look at me and say it again "i want food", "i want juice", i love my kids, but it feels at times that i am/we are a means to an end for them, they want something we give it and they learned quickly that this is the way it works... i don't know if other parents feel this way, but i know there are moments when they can break your heart with the most unexpected act of love you've ever seen, and when those moments happen everything else goes out the window, you literally jump off a bridge for them, and it really does make it all worthwhile, sometime i wonder to myself do parents of a so called normal child take moments like those for granted ?

I think you should . . . . .

I hear alot about parents who are uncertain about telling their child that they have some form of ASD, as an adult with aspergers (who only very recently got diagnosed)i think the answer you will get from me is "YES OF COURSE WHY WOULDNT YOU !!, my reason for this is a simple one : i have spent my entire life feeling different, different from my entire family, different from the people i meet, the places i go, i have spent almost twenty nine years feeling like i belong on another planet and never knew why, this has led to some serious aggression issue's, emotional issues, attempted suicide, depression, constant unhappiness, to name but a few, finding out i had aspergers was unreal, at first i was thinking what in the name of jaysus is that but then having it explained to me helped so much, i could suddenly look back and think yes theres one explained theres another explained, oh that explains that.. its crazy the way your life suddenly comes together after a diagnosis, now things have goten alot better since ive been diagnosed but my life was so confusing up until this point so i say this to you, save your child the hassle of all this confusion and emotional stress and help them along by telling them, help them come to terms with it, their going to understand that they dont fit in anyway, and that they dont go to the same classroom as the other kids, and that they have a busier schedule than the other kids so i think tell them and save you both the bother (you and your child) and the stress.

Close to you.......

Small spaces make me boil, my blood boils, i sweat like im in a sauna, i get nervous and self conscious....... its so annoying, people dont really seem to get it, i was in an office today made for two people but there was four of us, i nearly passed out, its hard not to notice people staring at you when your glowing red and sweating like a nun waiting for the results of a pregnancy test.

Even harder is what do you tell them?, "im sorry you have to watch me fry like an egg today but your just too close to me", cant see that working. Im doing work expierence at the moment, its good,a familiar place, not alot of people there and its working with computers in one form or another so its really good.

Busy busy busy ..........

Things are really busy right now exams just finished, to be honest i did alot better than i expected, i actually thought i had failed alot of subjects but i didnt fail anything its a big achievement for me, i was told all my life i would never amount to anything, teachers mostly, but returning to education as an adult has been great, the last two years have been two of the best years ive had, and its all coming to an end now which makes me nervous, i know i have to start somewhere new, but its just not as easy as it sounds. watching cliffhanger on Sky Action at the moment then going to bed.

That wasnt good........

I hate when people try and interfere where they shouldnt ...especially the ones who have no clue what there going on about, its insulting and i never do good in those situations, if i could just shut up it would be great, but no matter how hard i try i cant control it. its not good for anyone but i dont seem to think about these things until after the fact.